Trying to heal from narcissistic abuse and emotional issues by talking and journaling doesn’t work for long-term permanent healing. How do I know that? Because I’ve written this entire blog trying to heal from narcissist abuse. I’ve journaled, I’ve talked about it all day long, every day, and I tried that for years. In the beginning, talking, researching, and educating yourself about emotional issues is necessary and does help to a point, but then you’re still stuck. And there’s nowhere else to go with it.
After you’ve done in-depth and almost obsessive research, you have an idea of what abuse is and a definition of what happened to you, but it doesn’t heal the wounds.
The reason talking doesn’t work is because you can’t sort this out on a conscious level. The harder you try to sort it out with your conscious mind, the less it works. As an RTT Hypnotherapist, I’ve come to understand narcissistic mothers can’t give what they don’t have, and that means we didn’t get a regular set of life skills.
Most of the time, we feel like we’ve been left in the dark. You feel like you’re different than everyone else, not good enough, or as though what comes easily to other people isn’t available to you.
Narcissistic abuse creates some of the most frustrating emotional issues.
Narcissistic parents don’t see their children a little living, breathing human beings. Instead, they see children as objects and tools they can use to further whatever their twisted agenda may be.
Narcissistic mothers don’t understand this one very true fact. We don’t come from our parents; we come through them. We are sent here from the universe. And if you want to get real deep, ladies, your uterus is a portal that brings beings into this world, and it’s also your source of personal power.
So let me ask you this… if you bring a child into this world, do you expect that child to fix you and emotionally support you? You’re probably thinking, uh, no. Well, this is exactly what a narcissistic mother thinks, and most of their thinking is completely backward.
I know she loves to blame you and make it your fault she’s broken, but someone damaged her long before you were sent to this world. You were sent here to even the score, and I’ve found a way for you to do just that. It’s time to take your power back.
Narcissistic and emotionally unavailable parents make life incredibly difficult and confusing.
Narcissistic mothers take a perfect, lovable, joyful child and try to recreate a being in their own perversely twisted and flawed image. You were sent here as a perfect little being, and she does everything in her power to corrupt and destroy that. And no, we don’t really know why thus, the term “disorder.”
The audacity is what’s astonishing.
The narcissistic mother doesn’t see her children as a gift from above; she sees them as property and objects. Her wish is to create a human being just like herself, and unfortunately for her, that’s not how the universe works. There are no copies. Trying to make your child just like you is the ultimate mistake.
Now that’s the extreme. Then we have the emotionally unavailable parent. They can be so wrapped up in their own pain and anguish it’s impossible for them to be present. It’s not rocket science that traumatized children become traumatized adults. But, unfortunately, it doesn’t get addressed until later in life, and to be fair, twenty years ago, we didn’t have the same healing methods we have today.
Continuing to talk about narcissistic abuse and other childhood emotional issues becomes redundant.
Talking about your pain every week or month over and over again keeps that pain front and center all the time. You keep revisiting, reviewing, and reliving it. So we continue to feed the trauma and the negative feelings.
A parent can implant negative feelings deep into your subconscious because you love them and trust them more than anyone else in the universe.
The more you try to come to terms with it on a conscious level, the more the subconscious becomes less engaged. The subconscious mind controls 95% of all actions and behaviors, so now you begin to understand why this can’t be resolved on a conscious level. The conscious mind has very little to do with what you’re experiencing.
Being abused by a narcissistic parent leaves imprints on the subconscious mind that form and control your beliefs about yourself. When I got into life coaching, it was a great experience, and I grew so much from it, but I quickly realized it wasn’t enough.
Life coaching takes a long time; traditional therapy takes a really long time because it’s all done on a conscious level.
By ‘really long time,’ I mean four to seven years. If you’re like me, then you’ve already tried some of these things. I’ve been trying to heal from narcissistic abuse my entire adult life. That’s over twenty years of searching for answers, and the first fifteen years don’t even count because I had no idea what I was trying to heal from.
Then (because the universe is with me), I found Marisa Peer. She is the creator of (RTT) Rapid Transformational Therapy.
What is the definition of RTT?
Rapid Transformational Therapy- a powerful hybrid method that gets to the root cause of why we may feel stuck. It is a method that combines the most effective techniques from NLP, CBT, hypnotherapy, and psychotherapy with the ability to transform lives powerfully and permanently. During a session, we uncover the negative meaning/interpretation of (self-beliefs) from previous life events and then change that meaning/interpretation (self-beliefs) to ones that are positive and empowering. A personalized recording is created to rewire the subconscious mind for fast, effective, and long-term change.
Marisa is absolutely brilliant. I don’t know how she did it, but she decided to share her work and train intuitive men and women to carry on her work after more than thirty years of experience.
And I’m thrilled to tell you that I have been accepted into this group. You can find out more or book a session with me using this link to my homepage.
How did I get accepted into the RTT program?
I told her I wanted to help people like me, adults raised by narcissistic parents. She opened all the doors for me because the one thing that makes a great therapist or practitioner of any kind is a personal experience with pain and suffering.
Same as with addiction, anxiety, or weight loss, you don’t go to someone who’s never had these issues. How would they know how to help?
You should never take advice from someone who’s never done what you’re trying to do. People like you and me can’t afford to waste any more time on bad advice.
For example, going to a medical doctor for emotional issues will not help you solve anything. It can mask it, but it’s still there. Now you’re hooked on medication for the rest of your life because a band-aid is better than nothing when you’re bleeding all over the place. When you’re dealing with a mother wound, a band-aid is a temporary reprieve and nothing more. It always comes back; it won’t be ignored.
Because of this, I was, of course, skeptical, but again I’ll try anything to see if it works. RTT worked the first time; it’s a permanent fix because once the mind understands something, it can never go back to its previous state. You were a child when all this happened to you, and RTT lets you see the truth with your own adult mind. After doing individual sessions for over a year now, I can assure you you’re not going to find anything bad about yourself; we are all innocent children.
I was terrified of what I might find inside my head. Terrified, I would discover my mother was right, and I really was the bad child she labeled me as, but none of that happened. The insight and understanding you get from an RTT session will completely change the way you feel about yourself and the way you see yourself.
When it comes to narcissistic abuse, it is not your fault, and you are not to blame. The only problem is proving it to yourself, and there is finally a solution for that.
One RTT session will fix way more than you expect.
About two weeks after my first session, my insomnia was gone, and the session had nothing to do with that. I woke up one day and realized how well I was sleeping. I have zero sleep issues now; suddenly, I was sleeping all through the night, and make no mistake; insomnia is a sign of a very disturbed mind. I had a very disturbed mind, and I spent those late nights building this blog.
We’re not the kind of people who ask for help. Growing up, there was no help available. We learned to do the best we could on our own. I don’t think it even occurred to me to ask for help because I didn’t know what kind of “help” to ask for. It’s confusing, but I’m sure you understand.
The thing is, nobody gets anywhere without help. I know you’ve already spent a significant amount of time trying to deal with things by yourself because I tried it for years. If you read some of my older posts, you know I was going through hard times. Nothing worked for me, and all other healing methods have failed me when it comes to being an adult raised by a narcissist.
The self-doubt you’re experiencing every single day of your existence, the constant questioning of every decision you make… gone after one session. I could not shake that self-doubt to save my soul. It was embedded in me and in my life like an emotional disability, and I got that from my father, who was also emotionally unavailable.
I’m okay now. The worst is gone, and it keeps getting better every day. You continue to heal and improve every single day, and I want to give you a jump start. I want to help your mind go from “my mother doesn’t love me” to “my mother can’t love me, and I understand now.” I want to help you believe in yourself and love yourself in a way a narcissistic mother will never understand. She can’t give you what she doesn’t have.
This article made me so mad today…
I read another article telling people like you and me that we will always have the self-doubt, and we will, forever until death, second-guess every thought or decision we make. THE “THEY’S” ARE DEAD WRONG. Do not buy into this crap, do not believe that whatever symptoms you’re experiencing from narcissistic abuse can’t be fixed. There are answers out there. There are way more resources now and some really smart people who have already figured it out.
RTT helped me, my friends, my husband, and my kids, and they were only doing it to play along. They did not expect it to work, but everyone is sleeping better. I even helped my husband quit smoking, and it was my first time ever using RTT on someone.
It works even if you’re bad at it! You have to experience this to understand how powerful and effective it is.
You’re probably wondering why we can’t use RTT and fix the narcissist?
Well, Marisa’s method does have a 95% success rate, but she doesn’t work with narcissists, schizophrenics, or people who have psychosis.
Narcissists don’t think there’s anything wrong with them, and they don’t want a deeper understanding. Some people are two-pint people, and people like us are ten-gallon people. There’s no depth to a two-pint person. And yes, I know the saying is a ten-pint and ten-gallon person, but two pints is generous when you’re dealing with a narcissist.
If you’ve been abused by a narcissistic parent, I am living proof that RTT works to help you heal. It is the answer we’ve been looking for, and it is a permanent lifelong solution for all the emotional issues that come with it.
Trying to heal from narcissistic abuse with your conscious mind will drive you mad.
I feel like I’ve gone insane at least twice trying to figure this out because it makes no sense on a conscious level. I just couldn’t get there, I kept running into mental blocks, and some unexplainable force would sabotage me at every turn.
There are tons of free self-hypnosis guides on YouTube. They can’t help you get to the core issues and root cause like RTT can in a personal session, but they do help. Glen Harrold is one of my favorite self-hypnosis guides, the recordings are generic and designed for everyone, but they’re high quality, and will help ease your mind and relax your body.
There is a way to get relief and heal from the symptoms of narcissistic abuse, and after reading this, you are one step closer to finding the answers and solutions. Please read this post for more information about the pricing and cost of an RTT session.
Need support?
It’s tough trying to recover from this and straighten it out on your own. That’s the hard way. If you’d like to know more about the RTT sessions to help you recover from narcissistic abuse, you can read more here or visit my homepage.
Another at-home option many people like connects you with a professional psychologist or licensed therapist online. Consider Online-Therapy (20% off affiliate link). You don’t have to be face-to-face. They’re available and on-call for you Monday-Friday, so you don’t have to wait for an appointment. It’s affordable, and you pay much less than seeing a therapist in person.
Post like this and narcissistic support groups are no substitute for therapy.
Hi Gina,
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this with your son. It sounds incredibly painful. I know it’s not a vendetta and I want justice for you too. I am not an expert in taking a narcissist to court, but several women on Youtube do this, including Rebecca Zung. Hopefully, they can point you in the right direction.
My Mother to a, “T”.
She signed to abort my first child when I was 15 years old that I wanted to have so badly.
I’m now 50 and last year she finally accomplished talking my 16-year old son into, “NO CONTACT” WITH ME!
My 12-year old son and I live a beautiful, happy life filled with unconditional Love while my 16-year old is dying inside because he also loves his brother and I, but felt, “he had to take sides”.
This is criminal. I am researching everyday to take my Narcissistic, CHILD ABUSING mother to court. Any suggestions on a legal way to prosecute for child abuse/child emotional/psychological abuse?
If so, I can be reached at the contact information below. This is not a vendetta, it is Justice for myself and my two boys. The destruction of their hearts and minds is solely hers to own through the court system. Please advise if you have any suggestions.
You are amazing in your eloquence of presenting to us that have lived it and presenting to others that have not, a deeper understanding of the “Primary Interfering Factor” in our lifelong grief. That, “Primary Interfering Factor” is often a parent with unresolved, unconfronted childhood abuse they endured. Exactly my mother’s affliction. Point Blank.
Can I just say what a comfort to discover an individual who actually understands what they’re talking
about on the web. You actually know how to bring
a problem to light and make it important. More people really need to check this out and understand this side of
the story. I can’t believe you’re not more popular since you
surely have the gift.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
My darling son and special needs child and my everything and s being used to hurt me as we speak.
I had to stop fighting for my younger brother who now is 30 he has been diagnosed with everything you can think of it as her current source of study supply he will never be free as I may never be free as well but I’ll keep fighting my younger brother wasn’t born like this my older brother was a sociopath and living wrong for a long time although none of us were directly raised with her other than my younger brother.
She’s never had anything to do with my life or my twins life or my sons life who is now 12 my twin brother and I were raised with my grandmother and my grandmother I was used by the NPD at a very early age as upon as a flying monkey but I didn’t know it. I have watched more than two people develop a mental illness strictly and result of this and PD lurking in the background I have known about a heart attack after her boyfriend of six months left his 35 year marriage disowned his special needs daughter had an estate sale to Lil Gate and liquidate all assets the wife had a heart attack and passed away and then the NPD left the guy meanwhile she’s been married for 35 years to my stepfather this isn’t the only guy who she’s ruined their life emptying their bank accounts destroying their families and walking away as if nothing happened she has targeted me my entire life but I wasn’t fully aware I just thought after trying to change your view of me or receive some kind of love. She has filed for emergency temporary custody and three different cases and completely stripped my younger brother of all human rights. He will never be allowed to be OK and I have fought for him up until recently when this monster was dropped in my lap in the middle of a therapy session everything came flooding back in and it was the worst day of my life and I have been through pain I have lost animals I have seen suicides I during a time of grieving the NPD took a strike to have my son live with his father in another state his father who is an alcoholic but a relationship I have been able to manage. Due to his addiction he has been easily manipulated into forgetting all that I’ve done to try to keep my child and him to remain in some kind of decent relationship I have taken on more than I should have in this life but I’m getting stronger as I can put names to experience and buy posts and pages and people like you. There has never been a day since my son entered This world ride it’s not relish in the fact that I was a mother and the most amazing happy beautiful precious child that I have fuck the world for as that’s what you do when you have a child with special needs he’s being changed and manipulated and abused before my very eyes and there’s nothing I can do but wait for the system to figure things out he only has me and his father in his life as far as relatives in any source a family or idea of this as none of my siblings are close with each other or me my stepsister’s not close with us either one of them abused a lot when I was younger and this was how I became the scapegoat
Hi Elisa,
From one middle child scapegoat to another, I can tell you you can never jump the gun with RTT. It’s for any and all emotional issues. No matter where you want to go, this will help you get there faster than anything else available. I know that from personal experience. I wish I would’ve found it sooner because you can easily get stuck or trapped in the past when you’re healing from narcissistic abuse. Also, Uncompromised Life with Marisa Peer has a free introduction class you can take to see how it all works. You’ll love how you feel after that. It’s how I got started. Thank you for sharing this and I hope you make your thirties the best years of your life.
I’m so grateful to have found your blog! I’m somewhat at the beginning and somewhat in the middle of realizing I have a religious, covert narc mother. I’m the middle child and scapegoat in the family. I’m 31 now, and it has taken me years to finally wake up and see her as she actually is even though my husband (and new scapegoat) has been trying to help me see since age 24. It’s been a struggle to believe she’s not the loving mother I thought she was because the thought used to completely shatter me (you’ve blogged about this – my glass house is in pieces). Now that I’m coming to terms with reality, I’m extremely interested in RTT because I’m a big believer in subconscious work. My question is, at what point would I be ready for RTT? I have only done self work up to this point – – reading and learning as much as possible as fast as possible (for about 6 months but have thought she was toxic for about 3 years). I don’t want to “jump the gun” and try RTT too early. Any insights into when this would be most effective would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for helping me so much already by blogging!!
Hi Katie,
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this and you’re right, it seems the law doesn’t want to deal with these people either. They run around causing all kinds of problems and putting their children through hell. When they do get into trouble the only thing they have to offer is a lifetime of therapy. We need better solutions. Sending strength.
I have a narrciccist religious mother she has called me satins child called me also 22 times police telling I’m attacking her for mental state hospital treatment. Your author is right. She will accept psychology now because the dr found her out. That finally I’m the victim police have done a no voice on me. When I say I didnt touch her they didnt believe me. I now have a record list my children’s relationship and marriage over this believe and behavior. There has to be a way out legally for parents like this. I’ve been therapy now for 18 yrs I’m the only solution is me getting therapy and medicine she demands. A child has no recourse if the are older. Well its mother saying this is the recourse I have public record. Made fun of even my children and no one to have anymore. There needs to be a law for children no matter how old for this religious fanatics lying about their to be believed I have no recourse to clean up this false accusations and family of flying monkeys to not have a record
Are you still offering a free session? I went to your homepage and clicked on book now but it doesn’t look like it is free? I would love to try this therapy. I’ve been going to talk therapy for years and have been going to life coaching for the past few months. I’ve read several self help books, podcasts, meditations, EFT tapping, bodywork therapies, etc. I still feel stuck and this sounds promising.
I’m very intrigued by all the information I’ve read about RTT. It makes sense. I’ve always believed my mind could be my best friend or my worst enemy. Throughout my life I’ve always made a conscious effort to feed the prior, especially after learning about Ns and how they try to destroy loving, caring people. But unfortunately, sometimes my painful childhood experiences are still able to overpower my positive thoughts and allow my mind to be brainwashed again by another masterfully deceptive N friend, neighbor, co-worker etc. We (their victims) know they (Ns) are growing in numbers every day, and our lives can never be free from them. Therefore, we must learn how to “reprogram” our minds as quickly as possible once we realized we’ve become a target/victim to their abuse.
If your free FTT session offer is still available, I’d love to learn more about how I can give my occasionally brainwashed mind some more helpful information that will help it heal more quickly.
The following message I posted on Parenting Exposed will tell you a little more about me:
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’m a 72 year old woman who was the scapegoat to my N mother and my older golden child brother until he left for college. Then to my younger (baby golden child) brother who was 7 years younger than me. My childhood story is classic, and you described it to a tee. I cried like a baby as I read this article and the comments below it. WOW! Thank you so much for this awesome explanation. I knew something was horribly wrong with my family and the way I was raised and treated. I was the “ungrateful, despicable” child of a such “loving” mother. The mental and physical abuse was so bad that I had to build tall, thick walls around my feelings and emotions so I didn’t hurt so much. I swore to myself that I would never let anyone see me cry, especially my mother when she physically punished me or told me what a terrible person I was. I learned to intensely hate everyone and everything at a very young age, except God and animals who I loved dearly. I learned about narcissism in 2009 as the result of researching emotionally abusive relationships. It was shortly thereafter that I realized my mother was a narcissist (my father was not an N, but he was in the military and was gone a lot), which helped me understand my childhood better. But this article explains that I was a scapegoat to my mother and 2 brothers! WOW! I could have written every situation in it! I cried hard for over 30 minutes while reading it, releasing a lot pain still inside me. It all makes sense now. I have a wonderful life now filled with love, happiness, and empathy (probably too much). I have chosen to live alone where I am finally free to be me. Both parents and older brother are deceased. My older brother became a paranoid schizophrenic in collage. He was a month away from taking the CA State Bar Exam at the time he was diagnosed, and his life basically ended as the result of all the meds he had to take the rest of his life. I finally had to go “no contact” with my younger brother in 2011 and all his family because of the stress they bring to my life. There’s something very important missing in all of them…the ability to love and connect with other people. They “use” people for their own gains. Sorry this is so long, but I just wanted to thank you so very much for finally giving me the answers that I’ve needed to know for a long, long time. ((((HUGS)))).
Hi,
I designed it myself with the help of Bluchic. They have templates to help create all different kinds of pages and I also use the Elementor plugin which gives you even more creative options. I like to do everything myself so I know how things work and no one else can be me online. It’s more work and a lot of messing around but I enjoyed it. Contact me anytime at dawn@ragingfemale.com and we can talk more. I’m always checking RTT sites to see what other successful people are doing and then I get inspiration from that too. Thank you for the compliment, I’m glad you like it.
I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website yourself or did you hire someone to
do it for you? Plz answer back as I’m looking to construct my
own blog and would like to know where u got this from.
thank you
Hello, i feel that i noticed you visited my blog so
i came to return the prefer?.I’m attempting to find issues to improve my site!I guess its good enough to make use of
a few of your ideas!!
Thank-You so much for this advice! I am most definitely going to start tonight.
RTT is going to help me finally solve & tie up lose ends of my own trama.When all hope was/is lost; hypnosis was the way to go!
Sincerely I am already convinced into RTT though once you had mentioned Glen’s hypnosis in the end RTT was about to solve all my problems. Literally and figuratively. RTT is going to be great! And he is actually the first hypnotist I listened to ever. I got to give creds to Kenneth Soares, he’s another good one for relationships and breakups
But YES. Finally. Light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you again. <3
– young, wild & free
celina g.
Hi Jennifer,
I’m so glad you found your way here. I’m giving away free sessions through January 2021 and you can book one by clicking the ‘Book a Session’ button on my homepage. I love it, it works and it will make you bulletproof.
I have tried every therapy known except this. I’m so tired and sick of this shit. I just want to feel some semblance of peace. Even though I’ve tampered down some of my rage, when too many things come at me or if I have even the slightest contact with my NM or her flying monkeys, I start spiraling and the rage starts riding up again…usually at the wrong people. I really would love to try this.
Hi Sandra,
Let’s do it! If you visit my homepage you’ll find the link to book a session, everyone loves it and it’s only free for about two more months
I am definitely interested in the RTT therapy
Hi Victoria,
RTT will absolutely help. I believe everyone needs at least one session to sort a few things out, build you back up, and give you phenomenal coping skills. Even after four years no contact my mother is once again harassing not just me but me children too. The difference is I use RTT to heal for myself and for my children. We got stronger than ever while everyone else in my family stayed exactly the same. I’m okay now because I fixed me, I’m solid and she can never take that away from me again. It’s a wonderful experience that’s permanent because knowledge is one thing but understanding is real power. If you’re interested let me know, you will be amazed at how well this works.
I am so grateful to have come across what you have shared. I have been no contact for a while now and have used the time to research, read, and attempt to heal myself and this trauma. Even therapy was not helping me much. My mother harassed and stalked me after I went nc, leading to me having to change my number and even move. She has somehow found out where I am living now and had started sending me letters etc. I feel like my whole world is turned upside down. What I am wondering is if RTT could still help even though she is now trying to force herself upon me once again? Thank you for sharing your knowledge with those of us struggling from the effects of these unfortunate “mothers.”
Hi Connie,
Thank you for asking this question. RTT is excellent for teens and because I can relate to having some really rough teenage years I love working with them. A session can turn things around very quickly because they’re still young and haven’t been holding on to the pain for decades like the rest of us. I got your email too and will be in touch.
Can this type of therapy help a teenager with CPTSD, anxiety and depression? My daughter is 14 and has been estranged from her father and stepmom for 17 months. Her therapist wants to try Accelerated Resolution Therapy which we have scheduled in November. I just want her to feel better.
Hi Kelly,
I’ll be emailing you shortly.
Hi Dawn, I feel so grateful to have been led to your blog. I’m definitely interested in trying RTT with you. I’m newly married to my college sweetheart, 49 years old with 3 teenagers and finally have a name to what’s been wrong for so long.
I’ve just gone no contact with my Narc Mother and am desperately trying to undo years of damage for my children as were became her supply. I need to undo my own auto response so I’m not triggered in negative ways as well as the words to explain our disassociation to the kids. They’ve been manipulated, lied to about me, overshared with, told to keep secrets, triangulated… all of it. We are 1000’s of miles away now and I’m no longer a widow needing her help.
I look forward to hearing from you!