The religious narcissistic mother is hiding in the church.
If you go to church, guess what?
She’s there.
It’s the perfect place for narcissists to stroke their egos and twist interpretations so they can have control.
Ever tried to have a religious discussion with a Christian narcissist?
It brings a new definition to the circle of madness we call “word salad.”
My family went to church every Sunday without fail, and it was mandatory to participate in all church functions. My father was not a Christian until it was forced on him by my narcissistic mother and her church.
I went on mission trips and worked my butt off during these attempts to save the world.
We were there to save their souls and bring them our Christian version of God.
Religion is control, and free will doesn’t exist in the church.
You’re not taught to think for yourself; you’re only allowed to think what you’re told.
They tell these stories from thousands of years ago, and as a young teen, I started asking questions about the origin of these beliefs. Little did I know, you’re not allowed to question the church or its teachings.
You must follow the crowd and believe what you’re told or be shamed and dismissed.
If you give ten people the same bible verse, each one comes back with their own interpretation.
I was a genius when it came to reciting the bible, but every time I did my obsessively religious narcissistic mother would come up with some ridiculous reason why I was wrong. It didn’t matter how good you are or how many bible verses you know. Nothing can save you from a narcissistic mother.
And since she believes 10% of your income should go to the church, the church is more than happy to put up with her for the money.
This makes a narcissist feel important, powerful, noble, dedicated, and, most of all, blessed in every way. As the daughter of a narcissistic mother, the church offers no protection against a narcissist.
From Christian Reformed to Baptist, all those blessings weren’t enough to protect me from my mother.
Religion is a leash.
It kept me trapped in obedience and justified her behavior.
Religious narcissistic mothers use God as a weapon.
Instead of teaching you unconditional love, you’re taught to be ashamed of yourself for being a lowly human. There’s only one way to heaven, and that’s to believe what she believes, or you will be punished in the name of God.
Obey thy mother and father.
Spare the rod spoil the child.
God has a plan for you, meaning you’re not really the one responsible for your life.
You have no control because God will take care of you.
When Dr. James Dobson’s “tough love” became popular it was another weapon my mother used to abuse and ignore me. His teachings caused more suffering in my family than you could possibly imagine.
The bible has been rewritten thousands of times by every generation, and it wasn’t written by God, it’s written by humans.
Spare the rod spoil the child is a misinterpretation.
God would never tell you to take a rod and beat your child, are you kidding?
It sounds like a narcissist justifying child abuse.
I will never be okay with a parent hitting their child for any reason.
I know what that feels like and what it does to your mind.
When someone you love and trust hits you, it teaches you it’s normal when your boyfriend or spouse hits you too.
God gave me a brain, and I decided to use it.
We’re smarter than our parents.
We have more information with the birth of the internet, and it’s our responsibility to put a stop to this blatant child abuse.
How was getting whipped with a belt considered acceptable punishment for a child?
We grew up in the dark ages compared to now.
A religious narcissistic mother will use any of the bible’s teaching and twist them to further her agenda or justify her behavior.
Religion is based on one’s own interpretation, which makes it easy for a narcissist to manipulate the truth. You think you had a normal childhood because you were clothed, feed, and taken to church every Sunday.
In my world, these were the only requirements to be considered a good mother.
You’re indoctrinated into the church, forced to believe what you’re told, and punished for asking questions. As I got older, I didn’t want anything to do with the church.
I wasn’t allowed to explore other options or think any other way, so until you become an adult, you’re trapped in the twilight zone of your mother’s twisted and perverted version of God.
The threats of burning in hell for eternity and the book of revelations are not appropriate for a young child. Instead of being carefree, young, and happy, I was burdened with this great responsibility of a very unforgiving God.
In the eyes of a child, Mother equals God, and if God was anything like my mother, then why bother because I was surely going to burn in hell.
Religion should be a choice, not something you’re born into.
Parents should not be allowed to force their religious beliefs on their children. Religion is not for everyone, and there is a movement happening in this generation.
We are the non-believers.
Enemies of the church.
The reason religion doesn’t work on me is I’m an empath raised by a narcissist. You can’t lie to me for long without me sensing it. I’ve seen it up close a personal how they conveniently twist the truth, and I am not interested in anyone else’s version of God.
I can think for myself, and my spiritual health is more important than all these rules, confusion, and contradiction. Religion has a way of making God very small.
Forcing a child to believe in a religion is abuse.
I was so spiritually sick from decades of narcissistic religious abuse I had no choice but to turn my back on the church. Being raised as a Christian doesn’t automatically make you one, but it can keep you trapped in hell for the rest of your life.
- There is no free will in religion.
- You’re not allowed to think for yourself.
- How dare you create your own version of God and refuse to go to church.
- You’re a bad person.
Some of the worst people in the world go to church on Sundays. They feel it absolves them from their sins, and now they’ve been forgiven, so they don’t have to change their behavior.
This is the perfect environment for the narcissist. They preach about forgiveness because they need you to constantly forgive them, and this is another insidious form of control.
The adult child of a narcissist doesn’t need a lesson on forgiveness.
Don’t preach your religion to me.
I’ve read your book and heard all your stories. The only truth I discovered is God saves those who save themselves.
Recovering from narcissistic abuse requires a spiritual overhaul. I’ve always been a very spiritual and spirited person, but you will never find me in church. Religion can’t save you when you’re the child of a narcissist.
Hell is supposed to be some other dimension where bad people are sent after they die. When you’re the child of a religious narcissistic mother, hell is a place on earth, and you’ll know it when you go home with her after church.
You might disagree with what I’ve said here, but you should know I’m not the one who’s lost.
Someone has to be around to show people where the door is so they can get out too.
Need support?
It’s tough trying to recover from this and straighten it out on your own. That’s the hard way.
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You don’t have to be face-to-face. They’re available and on-call for you Monday-Friday, so you don’t have to wait for an appointment. It’s affordable, and you pay much less than seeing a therapist in person.
Post like this and narcissistic support groups are no substitute for therapy.
I feel so trapped. She sets me out as a villain. I remember one of the church leaders belittled me and my mother said if I was him I would have slapped you. I can’t take this anymore I just want to die.
Hi Olvia,
I wanted to die most of my teenage years and all of my twenties because of how these beliefs are twisted. The arrogance of church leaders is beyond my comprehension. My mother would do the same, go in, get them all riled up, and I wasn’t allowed to defend myself or tell my side. They act as if they know what goes on behind closed doors. And now they threaten you with physical abuse.
These people are not mentally well, and the church is corrupt. They are wrong Olvia, don’t let those wackjobs define you. In many ways, the church has become insane and you don’t have to believe what they say. Look for the things that bring you relief and then you’ll know you’re going in the right direction. Please research RTT Rapid Transformational Therapy. When you’re ready this is the most effective way to heal from this kind of abuse. Sending strength and love.
So glad I found this site, I was fortunate in that my stoic father countered the madness and built me up with love, while my church-lurking mother did everything in her power to break me down and use me as an emotional and physical punching bag. Growing up I was dragged to ministers, priests, police stations, child services to be exorcised, locked up and fixed. I was terrified of being a parent and repeating the cycle, especially with a girl. Read a book called, ”Mothering without a map” and found my way. Not perfect or fixed but between the three years of clinical psych at college, two years of therapy and very strict boundaries – especially with her access to my kids – I think I’m doing ok. To those still in the jaws of hell… chin up defiantly, fake it till you make it, never confide or expect real love and acceptance. I swear the day I was crying and telling her about a heartbreak I saw a glint in her eye and a sly smile. Yet when I was winning with something, even my own wedding she was sulky and downright miserable. They will never change or see what they are doing as wrong because they hide behind religion. Just be careful, we get drawn to them – I ended up marrying a narcissist.
Hi,
That book sounds interesting. I cringe every time someone describes the glint in their eye when they’re enjoying your pain. I know that look all too well, thank you for sharing this.
Prayer Points against Narcissism
By Shaila Touchton
Our Father in Heaven, in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ we approach the throne of Grace and mercy and we ask you to forgive us of our known and unknown sins which we have committed against you and others.
Heavenly Father in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, By the Fire of God, by the blood of Jesus Christ and by the Power of The Holy Spirit of God I bind Every spirit of
1.Insanity demons and 2. Every evil spirit of word twisting demons, in ———–
3.Every evil spirit of lying, familiar spirits,marine spirits,spirits of rebellion and disobedience, spirits of Jezebel and ahab, and every evil spirit of blame shifting
3. Every evil Spirit of condemnation and False accusation
4. Every evil spirit of chaos and confusions
5. Every evil spirit of selfishness and pride
6.Every spirit of control and manipulations
7. Every Evil spirit of exaggeration and self-glorifications
8. Every Evil spirit of insecurity and abusing behaviors
9. Every evil spirit of rage and angry
10. Every evil spirit of violence and arrogancy
11. Every evil spirit of hiding demons and boredom
12. Every evil spirit of demon of false judgment and spirit of rejection
13. Every evil demon of evil addiction and attention
14. Every evil Spirit of lustful demons and Demons of Perversion
15. Every evil spirit of mockery and foul mouth Demons
16. Every demonic spirit of Schizophrenia and Depression
17. Every evil Spirit of Suicide, Bipolar mental disorders
18. Every evil spirit of demons of ADD and Adhd,every spirit of negativity
19. Every demonic spirit of cursing thoughts and evil imaginations
20. Every Evil Soul-Ties and every evil spirit of Hexes and Vexes
21. Every evil Spirits of Demonic Attacks, spirit of revenge, spirit of disobedience, Witchcraft, Voodoo and Black Magic
22. Every Evil Spirits of Rage, Anger, Hatred
23. Every evil spirits of Car Accidents and Road Rage
24. Every evil Spirits of Infirmity, Sickness and Pain.
25. Every Evil Spirit of Curses of Rejection and Abandonment
26. Every Spirit of Demonic Sexual Soul-Ties with Pornography
27. Every Evil Soul-Ties with Religious Idols, religious slavery and Every Spirit of Ancestral hereditary demons
28. Every Spirit of Evil Soul-Ties with Alcohol and strange woman
29 Every Evil Soul-Ties with False gods and religious Demons
30.Every Evil Soul ties with the dead and Ungodly Souls
31. Every evil Spirit of bondage, spells and strong holds to anything in anyform.
32. Every Demon of Mental and emotional torture and tormentations
33.Every Spirit of disappointments, laziness, doubt, insincerely, unreliability, unstable and unfaithfulness
34. Every demon of Psychotic behavior, every religious and pharisee spirits, self-centeredness, and Schizophrenia
35.Every evil Spirit of Pathological lies, Disordered Emotions, Anxiety
36. Every demonic spirit of verbal, physical, mental or sexual abuse
37.Every demonic spirit death and destructions
38. Every evil Spirit of inferiority, cruelty and sexual sins
39.Every demonic spirit of sadism, every hereditary curses and sickness self-pity, hyperactiveness, torment, disbelief, greed, uncontrolled talk, quarrel and arguing
40. Every spirit of deceit, gossip, backbiting, jealousy, irritability, criticism and harlotry
41. Every demonic spirit of avoidance, talking excessively, evil communication, every demonic phone contacts and every dumb and deaf spirits
41.Every demon’s spirit of unforgiveness, root of cancer and bitterness, every demonic spirit of malice and corruption
42. Every harassing evil demons, every demons of terrorizing and victimizing. By the Authority of Jesus Christ, I command you all evil spirits, Satan and you demons to go directly to Jesus, without manifestation and without harming ——- and me or anyone in my family line in Jesus Holy Name. Amen
And you all evil spirits, legions of demons I place you under the feet of Jesus Christ. I command you never to return to ….. and any of us in our family or our family line.
**Let the blood of Jesus wash away every witchcraft identification mark on …….. .Every Satanic powers, Every spirit of mental disturbance, Every wicked power, every strange power attacking ….. with madness, Every demonic Spirits behind ………s Narcissism and Abuse, Every arrow of insanity, every voice of madness, every occult powers, Every inherited curse and every generational curses working against …… be destroyed at it roots By the Fire of God, by the blood of Jesus Christ and by the Power of The Holy Spirit in the Powerful Name of Jesus Christ. Every stronghold or strong bondages of Evil Spirits in ………. be destroyed, By the Fire of God, by the blood of Jesus Christ and by the Power of The Holy Spirit in the Powerful Name of Jesus Christ.
**Satan, I BIND you, in the name of Jesus. You can no longer exercise dominion over …….. In the name of Jesus, upon …..
s mind I LOOSE spiritual knowledge, revelation, insight, understanding, wisdom, truth, discernment, diligent searching, freedom, love, love of God , our love for each other,peace,sound mind , compassion, faithfulness and permanent deliverance and healing. . I ask You to send Your holy angels Archangel Michael, Gabriel and other angels to fight the battles for……. to guard and protect him from all dangers and wash him with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. In the name of Jesus Christ, I forbid and BLOCK all Satanic and demonic activities in ………and transferring from him to me or to any of my family members, or into our lives by the power of the Blood of Jesus Christ. AMen
All these evil spirits, demons Manifesting in …….. I bind them with the blood of Jesus Christ, I declare they will have no authority over ……… right now and I loose the fruits of the Holy Spirit love, joy, peace, love, compassion, kindness, understanding, gentleness, faith, patience, self-control in the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
I break the transmission of any and all satanic vows, spiritual bondage and slavery, evil soul ties and demonic works over ……..and us . I break every evil authority, every curse of untimely death, every covenant of marital failure in Jesus Mighty Name and by the power of the blood of Jesus Christ.Amen.
She’s poison to my soul. She sends me cards asking me to ask God what I’m supposed to do with my life. I just realized tonight i never got this crap from my christian grandma, now deceased. She’d send me nice cards saying how much she missed me, loved me and how white the sand was in Florida. She wasn’t perfect but at least she was pleasant and I felt like she actually believed in my abilities and loved me.
But I don’t know how to own my power and I don’t really know who I am anymore because of my mom. she is like kryptonite and can just crush me with one single snark comment. she’s such a c***. There’s also something super wrong with her if I try to call her out on something even in a gentle loving way she’ll scream at me and the last time this happened which was Christmas Eve the ending comment was” I hate me”. She literally texted this to me. I don’t know if she’s possessed or if she’s a narcissist or what but this is way out of my control. I just want out of her life. I cannot seem to get her to respect my thoughts, feelings, opinions, life.
Hi Jess,
It sounds like it’s high time you let this all out and I felt the same way, my mother was like kryptonite to me too. Most people don’t come to this site by accident so I want to encourage you to keep researching to find the answers you’re looking for because whatever is going on with her it’s not because of you. Normal mothers do not behave this way and more information will help you take your power back. Thank you for sharing this, you are not alone, and your thoughts and feelings are justified. No one deserves to be treated this way.
Wow! Spot on! I was raised by a religious narcissistic mother and she used all of these tactics. Thank you for writing this, we’re not alone.
That’s right, Sheena!
We are not alone, there are millions of us, and we’re not going to take it anymore. Thanks for stopping by.
My narcissistic mother is hiding in the church.
She is a HYPOCRITE.