The religious narcissistic mother is hiding in the church. If you go to church, guess what?

She’s there.

It’s the perfect place for narcissists to stroke their egos and twist interpretations so they can have control.

Ever tried to have a religious discussion with a Christian narcissist? It brings a new definition to the circle of madness we call “word salad.”

My family went to church every Sunday without fail, and it was mandatory to participate in all church functions. My father was not a Christian until it was forced on him by my narcissistic mother and the church. I went on mission trips and worked my butt off during these attempts to save the world. We were there to save their souls and bring them our Christian version of God.

 

Religion is control, and free will doesn’t exist in the church.

You’re not taught to think for yourself; you’re only allowed to think what you’re told.

They tell these stories from thousands of years ago, and as a young teen, I started asking questions about the origin of these beliefs. Little did I know, you’re not allowed to question the church or its teachings.

You must follow the crowd and believe what you’re told or be shamed and dismissed. However, if you give ten people the same bible verse, each one comes back with their own interpretation.

I was a genius when it came to reciting the bible. Still, every time I did, my obsessively religious narcissistic mother would come up with some ridiculous reason why I was wrong.

It didn’t matter how good you are or how many bible verses you know. Nothing can save you from a narcissistic mother. And since she believes 10% of your income should go to the church, the church is more than happy to put up with her for the money.

This makes a narcissist feel important, powerful, noble, dedicated, and, most of all, blessed in every way. As the daughter of a narcissistic mother, the church offers no protection against a narcissist.

From Christian Reformed to Baptist, all those blessings weren’t enough to protect me from my mother. Religion is a leash. It kept me trapped in obedience and justified her behavior.

 

Religious narcissistic mothers use God as a weapon.

Instead of teaching you unconditional love, you’re taught to be ashamed of yourself for being a lowly human. There’s only one way to heaven, and that’s to believe what she believes, or you will be punished in the name of God.

Obey thy mother and father.

Spare the rod spoil the child.

God has a plan for you.

Which means you’re not really the one responsible for your life. You have no control because God will take care of you.

When Dr. James Dobson’s “tough love” became popular, it was another weapon my mother used to abuse and ignore me. His teachings caused more suffering in my family than you could imagine.

The bible has been rewritten thousands of times by every generation, and it wasn’t written by God; it’s written by humans. Spare the rod spoil the child is a misinterpretation. God would never tell you to take a rod and beat your child. Are you kidding?

 

It sounds like a narcissist justifying child abuse.

I will never be okay with a parent hitting their child for any reason. I know what that feels like and what it does to your mind.

When someone you love and trust hits you, it teaches you it’s normal when your boyfriend or spouse hits you too. God gave me a brain, and I decided to use it.

We’re smarter than our parents. We have more information with the birth of the internet, and it’s our responsibility to put a stop to this blatant child abuse. How was getting whipped with a belt considered acceptable punishment for a child?

We grew up in the dark ages compared to now.

The Bad Child Guide To Surviving A Narcissistic Parent

 

A religious narcissistic mother will use any of the bible’s teaching and twist them to further her agenda or justify her behavior.

Religion is based on one’s own interpretation, making it easy for a narcissist to manipulate the truth. You think you had a normal childhood because you were clothed, feed, and taken to church every Sunday. In my world, these were the only requirements to be considered a good mother.

You’re indoctrinated into the church, forced to believe what you’re told, and punished for asking questions. As I got older, I didn’t want anything to do with the church.

I wasn’t allowed to explore other options or think any other way, so until you become an adult, you’re trapped in the twilight zone of your mother’s twisted and perverted version of God.

The threats of burning in hell for eternity and the book of revelations are not appropriate for a young child. Instead of being carefree, young, and happy, I was burdened with this great responsibility of a very unforgiving God. In the eyes of a child, Mother equals God, and if God was anything like my mother, then why bother because I was surely going to burn in hell.

 

Religion should be a choice, not something you’re born into.

Parents should not be allowed to force their religious beliefs on their children. Religion is not for everyone, and there is a movement happening in this generation.

We are the non-believers.

Enemies of the church.

The reason religion doesn’t work on me is I’m an empath raised by a narcissist. You can’t lie to me for long without me sensing it. I’ve seen it up close a personal how they conveniently twist the truth, and I am not interested in the church or its version of God.

I can think for myself, and my spiritual health is more important than all these rules, confusion, and contradiction. Religion has a way of making God very small.

 

Forcing a child to believe in a religion is abuse.

I was so spiritually sick from decades of narcissistic religious abuse I had no choice but to turn my back on the church. Being raised as a Christian doesn’t automatically make you one, but it can keep you trapped in hell for the rest of your life.

  • There is no free will in the church.
  • You’re not allowed to think for yourself.
  • How dare you create your own version of God and believe what you want.
  • You’re a bad person, a sinner.

Some of the worst people in the world go to church on Sundays. They feel it absolves them from their sins, and now they’ve been forgiven, so they don’t have to change their behavior.

This is the perfect environment for the narcissist. They preach about forgiveness because they need you to constantly forgive them, which is another insidious form of control.

The adult child of a narcissist doesn’t need a lesson on forgiveness.

 

I say to them, don’t preach your religion to me; I have a better idea.

Recovering from narcissistic abuse requires a spiritual overhaul. I’ve always been a very spiritual and spirited person, but you will never find me in church. Religion can’t save you when you’re the child of a narcissist.

Hell is supposed to be some other dimension where bad people are sent after they die. When you’re the child of a religious narcissistic mother, hell is a place on earth, and you’ll know it when you go home with her after church.

You might disagree with what I’ve said here, but you should know I’m not the one who’s lost. Someone has to be around to show people where the door is so they can get out too.

 

Everyone has an idea in their head about God.

Some people think God is a he. Some people think God is a she, and some people think there’s nothing at all. But all of that is was too small for me. 

God felt too small in the church, too boxed in, too full of rules, and too controlled. They tell you that you have to believe this and you can’t believe that, or you won’t fit in here. 

The truth is I didn’t belong there, and maybe that’s how you feel too.

My idea of God is much bigger.

In my search to find a better definition, I started thinking in terms of energy. Masculine and feminine energy specifically. It only makes sense that God would have to be both, or how could “he” create a female. There’s no way a male could ever conjure a female. I’m sorry, no offense, but most men find females very difficult to understand. 

So in terms of energy, it’s tough to put it into words, so I’ll share a new version I found with you, and you can decide for yourself.

It’s call Prime Creator.

 

This belief or definition of Prime Creator is that we are all creators because we all create.

Each and every one of us is a creator. It’s what we do; we create. Each one is given a unique piece from the Prime Creator, and that piece lives inside of us. So, at the same time, this makes all of us one.  We are all connected, and each of us has a unique piece.

Instead of seeing another person as a piece of crap or something to be afraid of, we see them as another unique piece of the Prime Creator.  And that’s whether they are good, bad, or otherwise because we all know that the bad ones weren’t born that way. It’s this world that creates monsters. At some point, everyone gets a choice, and it seems you can do whatever you want with the piece you’re given.

Do you think it’s even remotely possible that we’re alone in the universe?

I don’t.

There is no way we’re alone, but we are far from an advanced or stable civilization. The only reason we haven’t blown ourselves up and destroyed the entire planet is because something intervenes to “right the ship” from time to time. 

It’s possible that maybe the God you were raised to believe is much smaller in that person’s mind, so don’t ever stop looking for the truth.

Spiritual growth is a very personal experience, and we are allowed to create our own individual definition of what that means. In the end, we’ll all end up in the same place because this is about the journey, not the destination.

 

Need support?

It’s tough trying to recover from this and straighten it out on your own. That’s the hard way. If you’d like to know more about the RTT sessions to help you recover from narcissistic abuse, you can read more here or visit my homepage.

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Post like this and narcissistic support groups are no substitute for therapy.